I had a frustrating day. Everytime I am alone on a weekend it gets to me… don’t know why. I need to have someone around all the time to keep the thoughts away.

Sometimes I feel like breaking down and crying… life seems so difficult… there is always an obstacle ahead and I have been searching for a glimpse of happiness on the horizon but none seem to be coming.

I didn’t feel like doing anything today… I had to meet my once-upon-a-time best friend for dinner. But I cancelled… just didn’t feel like it. Calling anyone and making plans for the weekend seems like an effort… I just want to be alone with my thoughts.. no matter how depressing. The worst zodiac signs are virgoes… they nag and criticise you to death and have no imagination whatsoever… and leos… they are such know-it-alls. My best friend is a combination of both zodiac signs. I am tired of her “Do this… do that… life your life like this”… if it came from someone who has lived life on her terms I would have respected the advice but this female’s life is ruled by others wishes. 4 years back when I was leaving A’bad for good I had invited my best friends for a b’day party. The best friend was married and wanted to bring her hubby along. I didn’t want him there… I barely knew him and didn’t like what I knew. She said she would not be able to come without him. It pissed me off no end. Why do couples become such package deals? Ek ke saath ek free. Both don’t have individual friends or lives. I was discussing this with K. She told me all her married friends carry their hubby wherever they go. What a life!!!

Promises are made to be broken and people change… we shouldn’t even expect people to be different… they are what we have experienced in the past and shall remain that way in the future. Why am I even dissappointed? I should have seen this coming. No more expectations from life… I promise to take it as it comes without feeling sad or happy.

I spoke to a ghost from the past (GFTH) yesterday. We have not met in 5 years and he added me on facebook recently. He apologized to me yesterday ‘coz he had hurt me once upon a time. Like a good human being I should have said; “Its ok… let bygones be bygones” or like a revengeful person I should have punished and abused him. But being me, I told him I don’t care. I have no hard feelings for anyone… my life has turned out well and thats all that matters… and his apology is 5 years late. Whats the point of apologizing for something when it stops to matter? Are you apologizing to assuage your guilt? Then don’t.

In the movie ‘Luck by Chance’ my favorite scene is when Farhan apologizes to Konkana. It is a very real scene and apology takes guts. He says “Sorry” once he knows the truth. He does not wait for 2-3 years to bump into her.

PS: If anyone has linked my blog to their blog please remove it. I don’t know where I am getting so many visitors from. Can I some privacy here???

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