Hiya.. I am back… missed you all. Sorry I could not say good bye but my laptop was in Mumbai office being treated for a virus attack. Apparently, the virus had infe cted couple of other laptops through LAN. Must be ‘coz of the porn I had downloaded (kidding!!!).

Anyway… 2 days before the trip my colleagues in the branch started making comments like; “Will you say Hi/hello atleast in Bagkok?”… “Will you even look at us?” I didn’t bother replying… I had every intention of ignoring them and hanging out with my friends.

Day 1:

We took the flight from Mumbai to Bangkok at 11.30 pm (it did not even have a TV)… at Bangkok I waited eagerly for South and North branch to arrive… the East branch is a nuisance. AB is in South and DK in North… the other inconsequential and irritating colleagues who joined as Management Trainees are in East. DK was arriving late so AB and I headed together for Phuket from Bangkok. We were staying at Hilton Acardia Resort in Phuket which is excellent… across the road is a beach… the resort is huge with many swimming pools, restaurants and pubs. The room and room-mate allotment is generally random… AB and DK wanted a room together and close to mine so we could hang in together. AB was with Iyer (Management Trainee with us) who was my flat mate in Gurgaon and is very bitchy. He had been given a position in the corporate office which had gone to his head. The rest of us collectively hate him. Iyer probably had nobody in corporate office to hang out with… he had started calling AB and DK recently to make plans for the trip. They had avoided all calls and discussions. But since he had not gotten the message… AB decided to teach him a lesson. He called the front desk and told them that Iyer is gay and he is afraid to stay in the same room as him. If something was to happen to him he would hold the resort responsible for it. To save his izzat Iyer should be shifted to DK’s room and DK with him. The receptionist doubled with laughter and agreed. Throughout the trip we were on a mission to prove he is gay. I had higher credibility since I was his ex-flat mate. “Seriously… he is gay… in 8 months that we stayed together he never brought a girl home… just guys who stayed over… his Mom told me he does not want to get married even though he is 29”.

My room-mate was Nina (name changed) – a hot shot group product manager who I hated with all my heart. None of the other females had arrived as of yet… If I changed my room she would know and feel insulted. I had pissed her off enough during my corporate office stint. She was also quite intimate with the married top management guy. I decided not to take the risk and spend maximum time outside the room.

The tour guide from Cox and Kings had arranged for 2 shows in the evening- Cabaret by ladyboys or transexuals (more on this in next post) and Fantasea. West branch was going to attend the 2nd show and was surprised when I refused to join them. Aky could not digest this and asked me again; “Are you sure you will be by yourself?” “yes”; I replied.

AB, DK and I had no intention of attending any shows… we were going bungee jumping. Yes!!! I have always wanted to do it. Once the North branch and corporate guys arrived- Boss, 2 North ASMs and 3 of us headed to the site.

(Nina had switched rooms with another female and I was now sharing with Jolly which was quite a relief.)

Boss decided to go first… we all had to sign a declaration which states we are physically fit… Boss’ legs were tied together so he could only hop. A lift took him 50m high… there was a man there to direct him on the jump. He had to hop till edge of the lift, spread out his hands and jump down facing towards the ground (in this case the water below). He did so… and plunged into the water till his waist. DK went next… he is quite a fatu… he had refused come on the Bat Wing ride in Movie World, Australia last year. I was confident that if he can do it… so can I. Next was my turn… I was wearing a black tube under the top… I took off the top to prevent it from getting wet and borrowed a T-shirt from the guys. The only thought on my mind was I had to hold the tee to prevent it from exposing me… when I was standing on the edge the guy counted till 3 and asked me to jump. I refused… how could I? I was at 50 m… so he pushed me lightly from behind and off I went. I closed my eyes and mouth to keep from screaming. It was a dizzying sensation and I wanted it to end asap. After less than a minute (it seemed like hours) I came to the ground… I was afraid I would puke… but a few sips of beer and some water and some rest made me feel better. I vowed never to go bungee jumping again. Once was enough.

AB was the screamer… his video of bungee jumping is most hilarious (will post it here soon).

After the unsettling experience we headed to the resort and changed into beach wear… the beach was deserted at night… the bars and food joints were also closed… we went to the pool but that was also closed. We headed to Bangla street for dinner and some night life. Thailand is known for cheap sex… it is teeming with prostitutes. Bangla street in Phuket is full of shady bars… strip clubs… prostitutes… ladyboys (women with penises/surgically created women). The night life begins at 11 pm and we headed to KFC for a bite. AB in his typical style opened the beer bottles there with his kada instead of the opener. The nightclubs open at 11 and we headed to the bar near them. The street had clubs where there were women pole dancing at the entrance to attract tourists… men and women thrust photos of almost nude women in your face whether you were a man or a woman. The guys were taken aback.

Me: Why do you look so shocked? Wasn’t Australia also like this? (I had not explored night life there)

Them: There were few clubs like this… but it was not so in-your-face. This is too much actually.

We took our seats at a bar where there were lot of women dressed in white. (Later I found out female prostitutes dress in white and ladyboys dress in black). We were served our drinks and one female started dancing on our table. It was un-nerving ‘coz she had not waxed her legs and if I looked up I could see what was under her skirt… and she was a lady boy. I finished my drink asap (actually gave it away to the guys) and left for the hotel… I wanted to give them privacy for their plans… was tired… and disgusted…

Next morning I got to know… DK had offered drinks to a prostitute and she came over and sat on his lap… she then demanded he buy her a tequila (Costs 1000 Baht or Rs 1400).. he refused… she got off his lap. She then asked them to ring the bell which was hanging in the bar (if you are having a good time you ring the bell… then you have to treat everyone in the bar to shooters which cost 1000 Baht each…. the guys refused to do so.. they were left alone after that).

Day 2:

We were to leave for James Bond Island… it is an island where a James Bond movie was shot… we were to go rafting also. AB and DK had arrived at 4 am and were still sleeping when I was leaving for b’fast. I convinced them to skip bath since we would get wet there… It took us 2 hours by bus to get to the ferry… from there 1 hour on boat… and it was rafting not canoeing (2 people sit on a rubber boat and a 3rd person uses the oars to guide it)… quite boring… we skipped it and poked fun at others instead.

James Bond Island is very sad… the only attraction is a rock… the water is dirty… the journey is too long… we stopped at another island for a traditional Thai lunch. Hungry, exhausted and miserable we headed back to the resort for the conference (the reason we had taken the trip). The conference was boring (as usual) but snacks provided were good. We changed into party wear for the DJ night. At corporate parties you have to be careful who you dance with… there are always some despo guys who will make you uncomfortable and get too close. I generally stick to my gang and avoid everyone else. At midnight I headed to my room while the guys hit the Bangla street again armed with condoms (I had spotted the unused packs in their room in the morning). In India I had asked them; “Are you guys planning to go to prostitutes?”… They said; “We maybe in sales and having a dry period but we do have some dignity and would not stoop so low”. Now I had my doubts. I decided not to ask… I was better off not knowing.

Day 3:

We headed to Coral Island in the morning carrying our beach wear. This time I had asked the other tour guide for details on the activities there. Convinced that it would not be a disaster like the previous day we went ahead. It took 1 hour to reach the ferry… we boarded a motor boat… grabbed the front seats and reached Coral Island in 15 mins after a choppy ride. The sea is beautiful there… calm, shallow, blue, green… we headed for the Under Sea walk… you are taken under the sea and get to walk among the fish, feed them, touch the flora there. It was an amazing experience. The rest of the time was spent in the water or sun bathing. We headed to the airport for our flight to Bangkok in the evening. DK was on a separate flight. AB looked very tired… he had not slept in days and was in no mood to party at night. I was dissappointed. I wanted to explore Bangkok. I tried another tactic… I told him I would hang out with the current Management Trainees since he was tired and I felt safe with them. AB and DK hate the MTs… with good reason. He agreed to come out with me. My roomie Jolly also joined us… he headed to a pub on Sukhumvit street. We avoided places like Hard Rock Cafe where there was danger of meeting company people. The pub was good with weird music… pretty waitresses… lots of couples… good lighting… thankfully, Jolly was outside most of the time talking on phone and we could talk freely. We celebrated our freedom (We had signed a 1 year bond with the company which has ended). After dinner at an Indian restaurant (we were craving for butter chicken) we hit the bed and snored soundly. Later I realized that there were only white men in the pub… they were with Thai women. It was actually a pick up joint.

Day 4:

The day started so late that we missed b’fast. The plan was to skip sight-seeing and head straight for shopping. We headed for Siam Square which has the biggest malls. For unbranded stuff MBK mall is the best. It is spread over 4 floors and you can get good and cheap stuff after bargaining. All the malls were connected through a bridge which was connected to the Metro station. The malls in India are nothing compared to this. Another place recommended for shopping was Indira Nagar. AB and DK would not let me stop or rest after my comment that; “I miss girls… shopping is different with them”. They shopped with me and I could not get a moment of privacy to look at “girly stuff”. Indira Nagar is like Palika Bazar in Delhi… maybe even worse. It makes Linking Road look classy. We bought tee shirts for our team (sales executives) and left asap. There were people shopping like crazy and we couldn’t understand why. In India they shop for brands but in Bangkok they were shopping for cheap roadside stuff. Bangkok is teeming with fake stuff… we were looking for branded shoes (Nike, Reebok, Adidas)… there was a shop which offered 20-30% discount. We were surprised and had every intention of buying them. On surveying closely we noticed that “Nike” logo had a slight angle… which means that it was fake. We decided to shop as little as possible.

At night we were supposed to be on a cruise but decided to skip it (like most people). I received a message for Boss saying the cruise was compulsory since Head of South Asia and more important people were going to be there. I convinced the guys to join me… they refused saying; “We didn’t receive the msg… you did… you go”… “But nobody will believe me if I say I don’t know where you 2 are and what your contact nos are… plz… appraisal is coming up… lets just go” They gave in… the cruise was boring as always… there was booze, dinner, a Thai lady singing Hindi songs with an accent, the talli ASMs dancing around her. The MD pushed us near the dance floor… since there were few girls… he pushes all of them on the dance floor to motivate the men to join in. I stood on the side hiding from view. One of my West branch colleagues pulled me in the middle of all the men. I was extremely uncomfortable and moved out… they pulled me in again… and then pushed another ASM (who they tease me with) towards me. I gave them a murderous look and walked off. I was quite pissed… how dare they make me do something I don’t want to… its ok if they joke around in the branch… I generally ignore it.. how dare they try and make me dance with someone… just ‘coz I am girl? Why should I hang out with them if I am not comfortable? How dare they? AB and DK calmed me down and told me I had done the right thing. The guy who had pulled me to the floor apologized later saying “Sorry… we got a little carried away…”… “You guys only ask me not to let out our branch jokes. Why were you pushing another guy towards me”… “Sorry”
he said again. But my night just got worse after that. AB and DK wanted to do some “night-seeing”. Since they could not find girls to sleep with them for free… they had decided to pay for it. “Well… you could not get girls to sleep with you for free in India.. what were you expecting in Bangkok?”… “We thought it would be easy… it is after all the sex capital”… “Thats ‘coz sex is cheap here… not free”. I didn’t want to hang out with anyone else… so I headed to my room. The only problem was I had shopped specially for this night… found the perfect dress and had been dreaming about wearing it. Well… shit happens. I got an in room Thai massage and snored soundly.

At 12.30 am AB called from his room… “Do you want to go out? We are back.”… “So soon? I am asleep now”… “You are about to sleep or asleep?”… I could have woken up… gotten dressed… and gone out but the thought that they had been with prostitues disgusted me. I didn’t want to see them that night… “I am asleep… Good night”.

Day 5:

We were to leave for respective branches in the evening… morning was free for shopping. We headed to MBK Mall to buy souveniers.

Me: So… how was last night?

Them: Well… we didn’t do it.. ‘coz of DK. This is what happened. We went to Sukhumvit street and found a pub… ordered drinks… few mins later a prostitue approached us… she started demanding 3000 Baht (Rs 4200)… we tried to negotiate… she would not budge… DK was drunk by then (he had a lot of wine on the cruise)… he started acting weird… saying things like “You pay me for sex with you”… he started imitating his boss (His boss has the habit of saying ‘Aeeyyy’… the ASMs have refined… their tongues hang out and they say ‘AAAAEEEEEYYYY’… very weird)… the prostitute saw DK’s tongue… got scared and ran off after calling them “Bloody Indians”. I could not handle him all alone and decided to return.

Me (wondering if they were telling me the truth… they arrived at hotel with me at 11pm… they would have reached Sukhumvit by 11.45 pm… they had returned by 12.30 am.. which means they had no time to get laid. Thank God!!!): You are kidding me.. you guys cancelled plans of going out with me… and didn’t even get laid. I sacrificed my best dress for your satisfaction. Disgusting!!!

We got a little senti while saying Good-Bye… it had been a good trip… and we don’t know when we will meet again. I doubt they will turn up for my wedding. Either way… I miss them… sooner or later we will quit this company and then drift apart. We are friends ‘coz we are in the same company… I doubt it goes beyond that.

On the flight with my branch I had to hear comments like; “You are back with us”… the men had attended some show called “Ping Pong” and were discussing if they would tell their wives about it. When asked Boss told me it was a hard-core porn show. I would love to record on video any man who had the guts to tell his wife he had attended a porn show. They were all trying to justify to themselves that they had not done anything wrong… and had no problems telling their wives.

Yeah right!!! Like I believe that!!!

The only thing I am looking forward to now is meeting Bf this weekend. The trip has left me depressed… I am on a low after the high.